NARRATOR: "Once upon a time...
"The end."
What? What the hell is that?
These pages are too sticky.
"A man with incredible skill faced his most difficult challenge."
Ah, unbelievable.
(CLEARS THROAT)
"Across a vast and dangerous land,
"he...he..."
I... l need to fix this.
This is gonna drive me nuts.
"He would bring old friends and foes together to calm a great evil,
"and though he holds a great secret, unknown to all but a few...
"The end."
Ah, I give up.
Let's just say it was an adventure like no other.
(SINGING) There's a town on the coast
On the path of Father Serra
Wealthy white guys in boats
Call the US Riviera
With a dark dirty secret
Soon to be unfurled
It's the murder capital of the world
Wait, what?
You know, lots of killing. Nobody knows.
You're talking about here? Yes.
Um, no.
Gus, come on. Take a look around.
It's Santa Barbara, man, home of the Yin/Yang killer.
That was one serial killer, years ago.
Let me ask you something. Why are you raining on my parade?
Don't you have to be at work?
(SINGING) And this town needs a man
Who can stop this reign of terror
Catching bad guys like flies
When he's given room for error
A man who sees clues almost if they were alighting
Gets accused to confess
'Cause his hair Is so exciting
And though his attire's informal
His skills are paranormal
La, la, la, la la, la, la
Hoo-dee-hoo hoo-dee-hoo
Ahh!
Seriously? You're talking about you?
Yes, I am. ls there a problem with that?
Um, where do I start? First of all, you're not a psychic.
Shh.
Who could be listening, the dancing guy?
Gus, don't be the kites upon strings.
We need to be a tad more cautious with our little secret.
Other cops cannot... Little secret?
You're living a lie.
Your girlfriend doesn't know,
and the last time I checked, you're not a cop.
All right, you know what? fine.
(SINGING) A cop I am not
I'm just good at observation
But with shortcuts And cons
And the proper presentation
They believe that I can raise a finger to my head
See the past, read a mind
And can mingle with the dead
And sure, my girl's deceived
But that web's already weaved
Woven
Weav-ied?
ALL: Woved
The key is that I'm in too deep to turn back now
So I tell these lies
Under Santa Barbara skies
The truth
Is a slippery slope to tread
When you're over your head
I do
What I have to for the common good
I'm misunderstood
And I'd come clean
If I only could
Yeah
But I can't You mean you won't
It's the same Not even close
Just don't ask I didn't ask
It was implied Define "implied"
You don't know Yes, I know
And I really don't care
Someone's bound to expose
Funny business we're conducting
Lighten up, we're all good
Would you please stop interrupting?
All I know, it's just me
Always cleaning up the mess
While your hair gets the credit
Getting people to confess
It's why I moisturize
Under Santa Barbara skies
The truth of the matter
Is it's all good fun
Till an eye comes out
I do what I have to
For my own safety and legality
'Cause technically
It's a felony
It's just a fib It's a crime
They won't care Yes, they'll mind
And we'll probably do time
Over there is my dad Here to offer his assistance
Yeah, not happening.
With occasional resistance
So we face it alone
All this dark and dirty scheming
Hope it's not like the time
That my partner went off screaming
When I fought No, you hid
No, I didn't Yes, you did
I'm just trying not to be the one who dies
Under Santa Barbara
BOTH: Skies
Santa Barbara
Santa Babs
She's our Babs
Good old Babs
BOTH: Santa Barbara skies
COP: You, come here!
Gus, I'm telling you, man.
Somebody needs to be on standby for the bloodbath
that's about to wash over our sleepy little community.
Shawn, will you stop it?
Nothing terrible is gonna happen in this wonderful place.
Hmm.
(SIGHS)
(RADIO CHATTER)
MAN ON RADIO: Patient rooms 70 through 86, clear.
(GRUNTS)
In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity
I'm not inclined to resign to maturity
If it's all right then you're all wrong
But why bounce around to the same damn song?
You'd rather run when you can't crawl
I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth
I know, you know They just don't have any proof
Embrace the deception Learn how to bend
Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end
(SINGING) Dragging my heels
McNab! No singing.
Sorry, Detective.
I need you to issue a BOLO for a Zachary Wallace Zander.
Also known by his nom de plume, Z.
His what?
His nom de plume.
His pen name.
Name he uses to... Never mind.
He was a playwright and composer.
Spent seven years obsessively working on a Jack the Ripper musical.
The night before previews, he goes crazy,
locks a critic in the theater, burns the place down.
That was back in '05.
Last night, he escaped from the insane asylum.
We gotta catch this nutjob, and fast.
(SINGING) Dragging my heels No singing!
Sorry, Detective.
Troubled?
Does it show?
Oh, a bit.
You care to share?
I'm a good listener,
and I don't get much human contact.
It's a long story.
Do I look rushed?
Looks like my squirrel friends have abandoned me.
I'm a writer.
And the last project didn't work out.
Uh, books, movies?
Ever hear of the Santa Barbara Playhouse?
Well, I can't say I get out to the theater much.
Well, let me start at the beginning, then.
Okay.
It was called Ripper!
Old London. Dark.
Very cool, or I thought.
And after seven years...
Z: And change after endless change,
I thought we had something.
In the dark of your shade, you should all be afraid.
They will call me "Ripper".
Okay, that was nice, Chris, but what if Elisa comes in just a bit earlier.
Like this? Yeah.
Okay.
Okay? Hmm.
I can fix it.
We are fixing it, bit by bit.
Have you slept at all?
There's no time for sleep.
Look, I have revisions for you.
We'll get there during previews, I promise.
Just take care of yourself, okay?
I'm... Hold on one second.
What's up?
Who let Andrew Scheck in?
Nobody, we wouldn't let a critic in before previews, especially Scheck.
He watched the entire run-through yesterday, and he's writing a piece.
Off of a run-through? Mmm-hmm.
He can't. He did.
We're done.
We're done? No.
Can we talk?
So this Scheck is an important person?
Very powerful, but not really very kind to any of us ever.
Bottom-feeder.
He shouldn't have been there.
I'm hearing it's over. Over?
No, Z, you're getting paranoid.
It'll be okay. No, it's not.
Z: Oh, my God.
He's here. Who?
Scheck. He's trying to kill us.
Kill the show?
There's too much at stake.
Try to sleep.
STAGE DIRECTOR: Elisa!
Get over here!
(SINGING) Something's wrong beneath the artifice
I feel the ground becoming liquid
Something's wrong
The elements conspire to see that I become the victim
Something wrong in this proscenium
The death of optimism's lurking
Something wrong gives me the clarity
To stop conspiracies from working
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(DOOR KNOB RATTLING)
You can't be here
You can't do this
(FIRE CRACKLING)
(COUGHS)
(COUGHING)
That... That didn't really happen, right?
It did.
Those people died?
One.
Why, why would you tell me,
a random stranger?
But you're not random.
You're like me. You don't have any friends.
You're invisible. You'll listen.
How... How do you know this?
Because I've watched you every day
from my window across the street.
Isn't... isn't that an institution?
Not a very good one.
They don't listen.
But this is a murder confession.
You'll... You'll go to jail.
They don't always send murderers to jail.
Yeah, there's... There's no reason to tell me.
But there is!
Because then you'll understand what I'm about to do to you.
The cameras lost Zachary about 30 feet from this gate,
so he would have hit the street here.
Where he went after this spot is anybody's guess.
Not anybody's guess. Mine.
He went to the left, Doctor.
Chief Doctor, Detective.
It's Head Detective, Chief Doctor.
Why left?
Because the bus station is directly down this road.
He will look sane as tax relief
compared to the slobbering stew of genetic do-overs
that populate the main terminal.
I'm sorry, did you say...
Slobbering stew of genetic do-overs? Yes, I did.
But I'm not talking about your whackadoodles.
I'm sure they're all lovely.
They're not... We know.
Look, Detective Lassiter can be a little insensitive and also, he's wrong.
JULIET: I think that the parking lot cameras picked up Z,
so I believe he went right.
The spirits are telling me that he went directly across the street,
into the park, into the woods.
Spirits are telling him?
He's a psychic.
And who believes this?
Most of us. Not me.
Doctor, you too will soon believe.
(SINGING) Hello, my name is Shawn Spencer
This is my partner, Lil Wayne
The evidence here's underwhelming
But my intuition is insane
A trained observer misses nothing
Each imperfection is a trail
It's not a question of if or where
But when the guilty party goes to jail
Come with me.
The park The bus
The spirits are sticklers, just check with Gus
GUS: Ow!
There's no way I'm wrong about this.
I've heard it both ways
SHAWN: The right way and then yours
I've heard it both ways
Let's not open any sores
I've heard it right and wrong
Don't Cheech my Chong anymore
Ah. Spencer, give me my phone.
Spiritual GPS. I can't help it.
Spencer, give me my phone.
Has he seen anyone, professionally, about this psychic thing?
Yes, he stayed in a facility once across town.
It was for a case.
He loved it.
That's true, Doctor! I cannot deny it.
It was quite a treat.
Allow me to demonstrate.
To the park!
(SINGING) The fates already set in motion
I feel the crime scene come alive
Drop all your preconceived emotions and notions
Unless you're Nova Scotian
And feel the criminal connive
And that is how I do it.
Congratulations, Spencer.
You finally solved the great peanut-shelling caper of '09.
As we all suspected, it was the chipmunk.
You are embarrassing us.
Gus, don't be the very model of a modern major general.
Look at those shells.
They're cracked by tiny, adorable,
rabies-infested, plague-causing rodent teeth.
Now look over there.
Those shells are smashed violently, almost as if...
(SINGING) Our victim's here and feeding vermin
Your patient drifts into his view
He scoots aside, but still uncertain
What this dark stranger's gonna do
You get all this from broken peanuts?
Perhaps we're drifting off the track
This is a psychic demonstration I'm makin'
They lost a mental patient
I'm not sure which of them is cracked
The nuts?
You're cracked You're nuts
BOTH: I've heard it both ways
The right way and then yours
I've heard it both ways
Let's not open any sores
I've heard it right and wrong
Don't diph my thong
Any more
Oh, any more
Oh, any...
Ew.
This guy didn't just want to escape.
I mean, this is...
The beginnings of a rampage.
O'Hara, you pull every contact this kook Z ever had.
We are gonna have to dig deep.
This crazy hasn't spoken to another person in seven years.
Actually, Detective, he started speaking.
Recently.
It's complicated. And what?
You pinky-swore you wouldn't tell anybody?
It was a doctor-patient matter.
Although this changes things.
I'm sorry. You said it was complicated?
The confidant is another patient.
Take me to this patient now.
(SINGING) There'll be sleigh bells and songs
And homemade pipe bombs
Dee tee dee tee
Paul, watch the changes.
Hi, Shawn.
Is Paul her name for the karaoke machine?
No, nothing that strange.
It's the name for her imaginary piano player,
Paul Hogan.
The Crocodile Dundee guy? Mmm-hmm.
He seems to calm her.
Shh, pipe down, Hellboy. What?
It's a very special day.
An afternoon of music and story,
and Shawn, I say this from my heart when I tell you
I'm so glad I did not detonate your mother.
And thank you, Paul.
And with the magic of the season,
I wish I could not blow her up all over again.
Does she know what month this is?
Can't be sure.
I indulge her.
And Gus, Mr. Central Coast, please take a bow.
Yes. (APPLAUSE)
Sit down, Avon man.
Pharmaceutical salesman.
Why are you antagonizing them?
I do not sell face cream, Shawn.
I sell the drugs that keep you people from seeing dragons at night.
Should we do this in private?
Z's escape was great, right?
Is there video? Can we watch?
SHAWN: Yang, we have to hurry, okay?
Z is extraordinarily smart and determined.
He's also very talented.
Okay.
He has the soul of a monkey,
and the cuticles of an aesthetician,
which is why I love him so.
That is crazy.
Sometimes I feel like I have a monkey inside of me.
I say that because his nails are immaculate.
Ow!
Do you know what Z's plan is?
I do, every step.
Great. So tell us where he's going.
Nope, can't do that.
Uh, that's why we're here.
You didn't come for my show?
Both. We came for both.
You don't have to lie to me, Shawn.
I can see right through you.
Tsst, tsst, tsst.
Just tell us where his next victim is.
Victim? Or victims?
There's more than one? Maybe.
But a girl needs a date before she offers her bounty.
(SNAPS FINGERS) Fine, what do you want?
Cigarettes? A shiv?
A free pass on spending the night in "the box"?
What kind of institution do you think we run?
Z taught me to love the theater.
And this, I'm not going to have a card like this to play again.
No, no, we can't get you out of here.
Oh, I just bet you can.
No, Yang. Suck it.
All right, Yang, you've had your little day of fun.
Now, let's get to work.
Everybody be careful. This place hasn't been touched since the night of the fire.
MR. YANG: Nope.
No, no. Don't know.
No.
CARLTON: "Don't know"?
Well, here's a place to start.
Uh, why did he escape? How did he escape?
What's his plan? And where is he?
Yang?
Use your words. What's wrong?
In my head, it's a musical.
What's a musical? All of this.
And I don't mean one of those stupid musicals
where they just redo old songs.
I hear that.
That stuff does not belong on the boards.
So that's your new thing? You're just gonna sling around stage terminology?
Yes.
His tap teacher got him an audition for Shakespeare in the parking lot,
but get this, it's not even Shakespeare.
We're doing Wall-E.
(AS EVE) Eeeeva.
Wow, Disney is really running out of movies to turn into musicals.
I'm thinking a classic musical.
It would really get me going
if you could just perform a little for me.
Perform?
CARLTON: No.
No, no, no.
Talk, talk, talk now.
JULIET: Hey, Carlton, I don't think that's going to help.
Dr. Adair said to handle her with kid gloves.
Uh, guys,
this might sound crazy, but I think we can pull this off.
Does anyone play bass?
Officer Ham and Eggs.
Give me a little, uh, walking bass line.
Huh? Huh? Yeah.
I can't believe it's not butter!
Absolutely not. You want to catch this guy or not?
(CARLTON SIGHS)
(SINGING) Yang, you're such a pretty girl
And sweet girls love to sing
And when sweet sirens
Lift their voices
They can tell me anything
Yeah, like, tell me who this loon's gonna whack,
before I strangle it out of you.
Lassie, stop it.
First of all, that doesn't even rhyme.
Secondly, she has every piece of this puzzle right here,
so in the interest of saving lives,
why don't we put in a little time
and a little bit of effort?
I'm not gonna do this.
Yes, you are, because you can.
Because it's easy. Watch this.
(SINGING) When you're making up a song
The words you improvise are never wrong
Just jam in as many syllables as you can before the break
You literally cannot make a mistake
Well?
Well, haven't I done enough? You haven't done anything.
Maybe not yet.
When you're working a cold case
Not gonna do this.
And want to start
Where would be the best place?
Not gonna do this.
We can assume that Z would like to kill again
Can you tell us where to begin?
You'll find it might atone
For all the things you've done
You'll pay a bit back to society
You'll finally be free Well, figuratively
Would they name a pharmaceutical for me?
We'll see It could be
Not likely
Please don't make me do this
Ow!
When you're making up a tap
You can do anything you like
Except for that
No, you never No, you never can go wrong
Now, now
BOTH: Nothing can go wrong
When you're making up a song
(KISSING)
Big man.
(EXHALES)
Now make me a ballad.
Yes, where my true love comes out of the fog
and takes me by the hand.
Yanger, you're killing me here.
You got to give us something,
after all the... Art.
Art that we just drummed up for you.
Shawn?
You're the greatest psychic the world has ever known.
I couldn't just tell you the answer.
That would be cheating.
I can't give you more than I've already given.
That's it. (SIGHS)
Gigantor, lock her back up.
I knew this was going to be a monumental waste of time.
Wait!
I wonder what's up there?
Cheeky, cheeky.
Z was living here.
At the end, he couldn't leave.
Changes, day and night.
Nobody knew he was shacking up here.
He was the Phantom.
Billy Zane. The other Phantom.
There's no other Phantom.
I'm sensing he's been here recently.
You are so good, Shawn.
(BLOWS)
Where is Miles Thornton?
Miles Thornton is the show's producer.
We've got a home and a current work address for him, the California Theater.
You two, hit the theater.
I'll take Mr. T and Cracker Jacks back to the loony bin.
We'll hit the house.
And you might want to hurry.
THEATER OWNER: Miles?
If you see him, tell me first.
I pray he's not on another bender.
He's an alcoholic?
Highly functioning, yes.
You know, I am trying to launch a show and a venue here,
and I've got a producer who suddenly can't keep it together.
You own this place?
I restored it myself.
Oh, so you're saying you're looking for new talent?
From the local pool perhaps?
No, he's not even sort of saying that.
It was implied, Shawn. He's launching a new show.
I'm up for a role in another production.
To play a mute cartoon robot.
I would play Burn-E, a small but pivotal role
where I change a light bulb outside of a spaceship.
And that audition was a month ago.
They're not calling you back. You don't know.
We have some questions for you.
Like, have all the roles been cast?
This is sad.
We preview tomorrow.
Really?
I know why Z escaped.
You're resurrecting Ripper!
THEATER OWNER: Wait, you're saying that Zachary Zander is out?
Yes, and you idiots are doing his play.
No, we're doing a Jack the Ripper story.
Which is his play. No.
Z's version was crazy.
We're using Miles' set design,
and the director, Ben, wrote this new script.
It's a completely different show.
Surely you can understand
how a crazy man might find all this just a bit upsetting.
Listen, first time I stepped foot into this beautiful city,
the Ripper! fire was the headline.
It was tragic, but then I got to know more,
and I thought, well, the concept for this show is incredible.
It deserves to be put on.
He's right. This is good.
Give me that.
Question. Uh-huh.
This inspector character,
do you think he could be, mmm...
(IN JAMAICAN ACCENT) A Jamaican?
If I wanted to lose all my money, yes.
Wow, this is pretty good.
This song totally rhymes.
But don't you think this inspector
should have a full head of sweet hair
and a reasonable-sized forehead?
I was reading that. Stop.
Give it to me. Give it to me.
Give it, give it, give it.
That's my script.
Do you have a sec? Of course, Janet.
Audra. Damn it.
You know, I want to be as sensitive as a businessman can be.
These people up here, they've worked too hard
to see all of their efforts destroyed
by one deranged individual.
Raincheck.
It was the victim's house.
You can't use the hide-a-key.
The place was a mess, and next-of-kin
are notoriously unmotivated when it comes to access.
Hey, what's the matter with you lately?
You've been a sourpuss this whole case.
See, that just goes to show how well you're paying attention.
I'm always like this.
Damn it! I asked for phone records.
How difficult is that?
Oh.
I had tickets.
What? Tickets to opening night of Ripper! seven years ago.
Victoria really wanted to see it,
and we were possibly gonna reconcile, and then...
And then someone died and the place burned down?
Yeah.
She's not the most understanding of people.
Unlike you. Exactly.
So I told her I thought
she was being a little callous,
then she told me what she thought.
Then our marriage was over.
Carlton, you're with Marlowe now.
You have never been happier in your whole life.
I thought I was happy then too.
And then a play gets canceled.
Because someone died.
Yup, and you spend the next seven years alone.
Carlton, let me tell you something.
Relationships don't always have to be that fragile.
I mean, I believe that...
Thornton was getting phone calls every half an hour
throughout the night since the moment Z escaped.
We gotta figure out where these phone calls came from.
Hey, good talk.
Z broke out of the asylum by himself.
Yes, but don't worry.
We're gonna bring this madman to justice.
All right, he just got a little lost.
He's not a madman.
I think we'll get a different opinion
from the guy he attacked in the park.
You're saying Z attacked someone?
Z? Is this true?
Guys, this is Chris Lamberth.
He's been with us for both productions.
Lambert? Like The Highlander?
Lamberth with an "h".
It's different. Not really.
It just sounds like you're saying it with a lisp.
Or with a Dum Dum Pop in your mouth.
You need to change your name immediately.
It's like calling yourself Jean-Claude Van Dammit.
Besides,
(IN FAKE ACCENT) there can only be one.
Who the hell are you two? My name is Shawn Spencer.
This is my partner, King Mongkut.
Et cetera, et cetera.
We're tracking down a serial killer
that's probably pretty angry that you're doing
a new version of the show he killed for.
And maybe audition for the show.
Has the role of the inspector been cast?
I am the inspector.
Sir, calm down.
I'm just saying the show seems a little white.
Yeah. It's set in London in 1888.
So what are you saying?
Black people hadn't been invented yet?
Gus, relax.
If a black dude's getting cast in this show,
I think we both know which one of us it'll be. What?
The fella who can say, "Hey, hey, over here.
"Hey, that's quite enough of that there...
"Ripper."
Should we be worried? Probably, yes.
Good news for you is,
we're pretty sure he's going after
the producer, Miles Thornton, first.
Of course, nobody seems to be able to find that guy.
Oh, well, I just saw Miles two minutes ago.
He was going up the catwalk.
No kidding.
We need to talk to him right away.
Are you sure it can't wait? (SCREAMING)
(THUD)
Ah, tell him it can't.
A visitor.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Well... Hello.
(GIGGLES) Whoa.
Thank you, enormous human being.
Hopefully your husband here doesn't mind
you being in the same room with a naked man.
Oh, I'm not married.
Well, in that case, what about two naked men?
Ooh.
Strode, she's a killer.
Agree to agree.
CARLTON: Could we just hop to it?
I believe this one's pretty cut and dry.
It is.
Suicide. Am I right?
What are you talking about? That's insane.
Relatively speaking.
The victim made no attempt to break his fall,
the catwalk railings were too high for him to be pushed,
and everyone in the backstage area saw him go up alone.
Yes, long-term alcohol and antidepressant abuse,
but was sober as a Judge... Reinhold impersonator...
(GIGGLES) When the fall happened.
Plus he just...
Just kind of has a sad face.
Woody, a patient escaped from a mental institution
and looked up this man's name
right after this man re-launched a play
that drove him to kill.
Well, when you put it like that, yeah,
anyone could look guilty. But think about this:
(SINGING) Often it's the opposite
Of what you might expect
Try to think too logical
You're usually incorrect
Trust your wife has never joined
A dark religious sect
It's the opposite of that
The opposite of that
I'm divorced. Stop hitting on the prisoner.
He was threatened Immaterial
He was frightened Inexact
You don't think he ran up there
Because he'd been attacked?
Try to be rational
You'll free your head from pains
Inanity is sanity
When dealing with remains
Think your wife was not
With White Sox slugger Harold Baines
(GASPS) It's the opposite of that
He even left behind his bat
Would you stop bringing up your cheating wife?
We all know you've been cuckolded.
You do realize they don't personally sign those bats?
The real question here is
who still has a Harold Baines bat?
Look, all we are simply trying to do is
stop people from getting killed.
Z literally wiped this guy's name off the list.
Do you have a sec? Of course, Janet.
Audra. Damn it.
Dude, every person on this list is back
for the new show except the actress, Elisa.
That stripe doesn't stop at Miles Thornton's name.
We gotta get out of here.
What if we miss something important?
(SINGING) Often it's the opposite
Of what you might assume
Think you're too full for Jell-O
I can prove there's always room
Find your wife hot-tubbing
With a cabbie from Khartoum
It's the opposite of that
How do you sleep, Matak?
It's the opposite of that
It's the opposite of
That
(KISSES)
I think we're safe.
Hey, man, take this file.
Take it.
Hello, Elisa, my name is Shawn Spencer.
This is my partner, Gigi van Tranh.
Van Trenh. I've heard it both ways.
You never even saw the show. What show?
Who's that?
That's Yang. She's a serial killer.
Is this safe? Probably not.
Elisa, a man named Z escaped
from a mental facility last night.
I know. Wait, how do you know?
He called me last night.
What did he say? Not a word.
So how did you know it was him then?
He was playing piano.
His playing is more distinct than a voice.
Let me get this straight.
A serial killer gives you a buzz,
plays some creepy tunes,
and this doesn't concern you at all?
It was my song. (GASPS)
He wrote you a song?
What was it like?
Was it a ballad? Could you hum it?
Not really mine originally.
It was his first song.
He used to change the lyrics for me when I was feeling down.
Aww.
(SINGING) Don't feel bad, I have a sandwich here
It's made with fresh organic turkey
Those are the words? I was paraphrasing.
All right, listen, lady. Miles Thornton is dead,
and Z's got you on speed dial.
So I'm gonna put an officer outside
your house here until we find this guy.
It's not necessary.
Trust us. Question in the back.
All the other major players are doing the new show.
Why didn't you get the invite?
The night of the fire was tragic.
Some of us had trouble getting out.
That's tough, but you didn't answer my question.
I don't think I was right for it anymore.
Cool.
So here's something interesting.
Midnight in Whitechapel.
Hmm? What's that?
It's the new Jack the Ripper show,
and it's expected to do very well.
What makes you say that?
Well, there are negotiations to go to New York.
Oh, like, off-Broadway?
No, like on Broadway. Really?
Dude, you were just humming a Tevin Campbell medley.
How did you even hear that? CARLTON: Wait a minute.
So the first production of Ripper!
Was gonna be dead upon arrival
before even getting one performance off the ground.
And now Z's out of the picture
and this new show's about to be
on the cusp of a financial windfall?
Yeah, and the entire creative team is going to make a mint.
SHAWN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Elisa's on this list.
Why didn't she mention that?
(PHONE RINGING)
McNab, I need you to ask two-face a question.
Oh, my God.
Sorry. insensitive.
Please ask Elisa why she failed to reveal
a damning piece of evidence,
the main reason that Z might want to kill her.
Um, Detective, can I call you back?
Yeah, I'm hearing something in the woods
and I may have a situation here.
Crap.
Come on, whackadoo, let's go. (SCREAMS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
it came from over there.
I see him!
So how's your mom?
(GRUNTING)
We got him!
Nice work, McNab.
(PANTING)
What the hell?
Holy crap, Gus.
There's two of 'em.
I'm sorry.
He let me loose and told me to run.
I... I did what he said.
Crap.
Elisa!
GUS: Open up! Elisa!
Open up! We gotta get in there, Gus.
GUS: Elisa!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
This is so much harder than it looks.
Oh, what? I have a better idea.
What kind of candy do you like?
(GASPS)
(SCREAMS)
That was ill-advised.
It was him. It was Z.
Stay here. All right.
Did you hear about Pluto? That's messed up, right?
(SINGING) I hurt no one, they deceive you
Come with me, Z
I believe you
CARLTON: Spencer!
(GROANS)
Ah.
This is our victim from the park bench.
That S.O.B. used him as a human decoy.
That S.O.B. just punched me square in the face.
Ah, I think we have bigger problems than that.
GUS: Uh, where's Yang?
NARRATOR: "Once upon a time..."
Oh, seriously? Wow.
(CLEARS THROAT)
"A dark and twisted man
"escaped the confines of an eerie asylum
"to wreak havoc upon those who carried on his life's work
"without his knowledge.
"Victims were..."
That's a little graphic, don't you think?
Quite easy to imply death
without shoving it down one's throat.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What the hell is that?
"But our hero began to doubt the guilt
"of the only villain he imagined...
"And thus began to wonder,
"what do you do
"when everything you know is wrong?"
Well, not only did we miss Z,
we also managed to lose the biggest serial killer
in the history of Santa Barbara.
We have a guard in the ICU and Yang on the loose.
Congratulations, all. Solid work.
I'm sorry, Mr. Spencer, are you uninterested in this conversation?
No. Yes. I mean, no, I'm just...
I'm wondering why he killed the producer,
but not our loner in the park.
He was actually sort of kind.
He knocked you out and dragged you to his car.
Right, he needed a vehicle for his escape,
but he could have just taken your keys
and killed you right there.
No, he was hanging onto the pathetic bastard
until he needed him as a human decoy.
I'm right here. SHAWN: Oh, come on.
There's no way Z could have possibly
planned that far ahead.
He would have known we would have had somebody
stationed outside that house.
It didn't feel right. Speaking of things that don't feel right,
why exactly is McNab no longer guarding that woman's door?
She's refused our help.
Apparently, she feels less safe with us.
That's rough for the group.
But in our defense,
it is very difficult to break down a door, Chief.
It's not like it looks on TV.
That was solid oak.
I'm pretty sure I dislocated my shoulder.
You didn't dislocate anything. Yes, I did, Shawn.
If it wasn't for my overdeveloped lats,
I'd be in a sling right now.
You don't have overdeveloped lats. You own the sling.
It was never given to you by a physician.
You don't need a prescription for a sling, Shawn.
Guys, I think this proves my point.
Even the victim wasn't scared of this guy.
It's made me rethink everything I thought I knew about Z,
which wasn't a whole lot to begin with.
What are you saying?
I'm saying I don't think Z did this. Wow.
(SKYPE TONE)
Mr. Spencer.
I'm sorry, Chief. Please continue.
Okay, so needless to say, this is a disaster.
So we put all the resources that we have
in finding both of...
Oh, I can't believe I'm saying this...
Of our escaped patients.
So we are gonna do whatever it takes to find them.
Shawn, I am making my first Skype call ever.
(WHISPERING) Yang, you get back here right now.
No, I'm sorry, Shawn. I just can't do that.
I don't think I was ever meant for that hospital.
Okay, first of all, you know that is the exact opposite of true,
and I still need your help in a big, big way.
Well, you know you can ask me anything.
Okay. ls Z innocent?
Is that what this whole thing is about?
Now, you know what you need to do
for those kinds of inquiries.
Yang, I can't... I can't make up showtunes for you
in the middle of a police briefing, okay?
Fine, then we have nothing to talk about.
Perhaps later I will call you. Maybe.
Whoa, whoa... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
KAREN: Okay, we've compiled a full profile on Z
based on both the 2005 court documents,
along with new analysis provided by Dr. Adair
and the staff at Willowbrooke Psychiatric Hospital.
Of note in these reports is a consistent belief
that Zander was making tremendous progress
up until recently.
(SINGING) La
Hmm...
No, I don't mean to be hypercritical, Shawn,
but really, this feels a little bit spare.
Have you worked on my ballad?
No, Yang, I'm... (SIGH)
I'm not working on a ballad, okay?
I'm not gonna write you a love song
where your true love comes through the clouds
and takes your hand
while wearing a giant white, furry robe.
Let us catch Z, and then he can write it for you, right?
And then there won't be a third murder.
Uh, first of all, if this is the kind of negativity
we're gonna go for, then you know...
(SNAPS FINGERS) Good-bye.
No, it's not.
You sit tight.
I have a surprise for you.
Okay, all shifts not on overtime
now have extended hours with the full cooperation
of the hospital.
And Dobson, please find out how early
I can retire and still get benefits.
(BRASSY VAUDEVILLE MUSIC)
Oh, what the hell?
MR. YANG: Gus,
you are gonna rock it as Wall-E.
Burn-E.
You gonna answer my question or what?
Those are the types of questions
that need to be pondered
Under a Steinlen in good old Red 71.
What's Red 71 ?
(SKYPE BEEPS)
Damn it.
It's not like she's been to that many places.
I wish I could not blow her up all over again.
This is true.
Well, this is 71 .
You guys sure Doc Adair is all right with this?
Are you kidding me? Do you know who I am?
You're the guy who lost Yang.
Wow, this Z guy really likes himself.
It's weird that he has so much self-esteem.
Those are the types of questions
that need to be pondered under a Steinlen
in good old Red 71.
And now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to show you something incredible.
Me having to make the bed?
(UNZIPPING)
Ha-ha!
Give it up, son.
All I see is more crap I got to clean up.
These are all addressed to Elisa.
Yep, they're all stamped, never sent.
It's a good waste of stamps is what it is.
Gus, Z could really turn a phrase.
It's like The Notebook.
GUS: Yeah, sweet, eloquent, well-written.
Check this out.
What? Dude, he had a thing for the actress.
Unrequited.
He never told her. How do you know?
It says so right here.
Let me see.
Wow. This is marvelous.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Jules.
Shawn, you need to get down here.
There's something else going on here, Jules.
We found Z's letters.
And they're really, really good.
I'm surprised his writing didn't translate
to the theater better. That's true.
The Ripper! script didn't do him any justice at all.
We're dealing with somebody very calculated here.
We never should have let Elisa refuse protection.
No, Jules, here's the kicker,
Elisa has absolutely nothing to fear.
Sound theory, Spencer.
You're right.
Everything points the other way.
(SINGING) The evidence is underwhelming
Oh, wait, it's not.
The facts are falling into place
The only thing that's satisfying
Is that the smirk is off your face
Huh. Never seen that before.
You're a good-looking man when you're humbled.
SHAWN: it wasn't Z.
I'm telling you,
there's another killer out there.
Carlton, what if...
What if what?
What if the guy we're chasing
isn't the one on the murder spree?
O'Hara, the evidence is piling up against this Tootsie Roll,
and now you want to change course?
I know, but... But what?
Spencer thinks so, so now you do too?
(SINGING) Well, I trust with my heart
And I can't avoid believing
Although facts are a start
Maybe looks can be deceiving
Let me stop you right there
Because I do not want to hear it
Maybe deep down inside
It's because you really fear it
No.
It's how I rationalize
Under Santa Barbara skies
You two
Let our biggest killer get away
After just one day Do you
BOTH: Yes, we do!
Think we could find her hiding place
Just in case
She eats someone's face?
If we find Z, we'll find Yang.
Let's review how we do
A tried and true investigation
Finding facts, not just snacks
And random prognostication
Tracing steps, tying ends
Till there's nowhere left to run
Loading clips, taking aim
You're not talking about guns.
So I catch their lies
Then I shoot these guys
Right between the eyes
Tell me those are lies
Under Santa Barbara skies
ALL: Under Santa Barbara skies
Feel this, O'Hara.
The actress's phone pinged a cell phone tower downtown,
which puts her in that vicinity
within two hours of her death.
Ten minutes later, we pick her up again,
which puts her going...
McNab!
Pull the footage from outside the California Theater.
You think Elisa was killed at the theater?
Just do it.
Go to 2: 20.
2: 25.
Stop.
Now we know where she made her last stop.
Evidence, O'Hara, sometimes comes in handy.
I told you we didn't need a key.
This isn't right, Shawn. Nope.
Key or no key.
Gus, we are on an island right now,
'cause he didn't kill her and you know it.
No, I don't. You can't decide someone's innocent
based on a look in their eyes.
Man, you don't know about looks. (SCOFFS)
Let it go, Gus.
I'm a poker man, Shawn. No, you're not.
I know tells and I know faces.
Dude, what are you talking about?
Looks, Shawn. I'm talking about looks.
Dude, this is addressed to Z.
Who is it from?
There's no return address.
This dude has a strange relationship
with the postal service.
What's in it?
Nothing. Not anymore.
Whatever it is, maybe it's still lying around.
Bottom line, Z brought it to the house,
Elisa finds it,
and whatever she does with it makes her dead.
Dude.
Ooh.
Z's script is terrible.
The Ripper was a good guy.
The new version is way better.
My character is so much more defined.
Gus, you are not going to be in the play.
Really? What about when they hear this?
(SINGING) Jamaican inspector man
Straight from Kingston to London town
Stop it.
Clearly, she got this box out for a reason.
The first time I stepped foot
in this beautiful town,
the Ripper! fire was the headline.
Armitage. Who?
The owner of the California Theater.
He lied, Gus.
He was there the night of the fire.
Shawn, we need to get down to that theater now.
Coinkydink!
Killer's here.
Yeah, well, this is where Elisa was murdered.
Welcome back to the team.
Uh, guys.
Gus, come on.
SHAWN: Christopher "there can only be one" Lamberth.
You were at the playhouse the night of the fire.
I was in costume for rehearsal.
It was difficult to see anything through the mask.
Was Roland Armitage there?
Ah, man, please don't make me answer that.
(STAMMERS) Well, he and Elisa were both...
You know. (CLEARS THROAT)
BOTH: Aha!
That was amazing. Did you... Did you rehearse that or...
We just solved the crime.
Can't believe we actually agree on something.
Oh, you agreed on something.
BOTH: The fire was started by...
Z. The owner.
What? Z? What? You're still on Z?
I was never off of Z.
It's always about the girl.
Here I was thinking you were sharp as a tack.
Thinking. That's funny.
I love how you said you're thinking.
(SINGING) He loved her Revenge
But he's gentle Unhinged
The girl was looser than a cannon
The owner had to have a show
He got played like Kofi Annan
Would you two please just let it go
BOTH: I've heard it both ways
The killer is the victim
BOTH: I've heard it both ways
You see facts and contradict them
I'm almost never wrong
So now it's on
Shawn, just tell us where he's gone
They usually find him in the bowels.
Yeah, I guess that could work.
(GIGGLES)
Let's arrest him.
On what grounds?
For starters, he's down here wandering around
all sneaky-like. With the actress who replaced Elisa.
What was that? Hmm?
Give us one piece of evidence, Shawn.
All right, he was here the night of the fire.
And you know who else was here?
Z, the guy who did it.
All right, how about this?
He's down here under the theater in an area
that's clearly not up to code.
(GIGGLING)
Hey, Armitage! We got you, man!
(SCREAMS)
You idiot!
(PANTING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(GRUNTS)
GUS: Surprised? SHAWN: Didn't expect to see us here, did you?
Hmm, yeah, that's what we thought.
That's what we thought, right? That's right, son.
Now, let's get down to brass tacks. Yeah.
Why did you lie about being in New York the night of the fire?
Why did you run,
and why was there a car following you?
And why has no one responded to the head shot
I left in Ben's dressing room? Yeah.
Wait, what?
A simple, "No, thank you" would have been courteous, Shawn.
Gus, you know the show is already cast.
People go down all the time.
Laryngitis, flu, pipes to the knees.
I can't do this with you right now.
Actually, I can do this with you.
Pipes to the knee? I'm not doing this with you right now.
Gee, I wonder why. Your face knows why.
Your silence tells the whole story, Armitage.
Okay, now, open.
Perfect. Thank you, Mr. Armitage.
I'll run this and have the results for you soon.
You can speak now.
Hmm.
What's wrong with you guys?
Hey, answer our questions.
Well, I lied about being in New York 'cause I thought you two were PIs.
(LAUGHING) We are PIs.
Working for my wife.
What?
Yeah, I think she's been having me followed,
and I couldn't let anyone know that I was carrying on with Elisa.
And I ran today because that girl I was with, she and I are... You know, you know.
Wow. You are a crappy husband.
(COUGHS) Understatement.
It's an addiction. No, no, it's not.
You just decide not to have sex with someone.
SHAWN: He's right. It's a cop-out.
Yes, it is. But your incredible success rate warrants mention.
Thank you. GUS: Shawn.
So does his hair. The cat-cat gets his.
He gets his.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Deranged individual.
Raincheck.
Let me ask you something.
Does your wife have short black hair?
Yes, why? I think she's on to you, pal.
What?
Hey, ho.
Oh, hey. You know what, Spencer?
Apology accepted.
Ah, I'm still off Z. Really?
Because I'm with Lassie right now.
And I may have just blown it with the play.
Hey there, Pop. Guess what?
I'm officially living my worst nightmare.
Why?
Because I think Lassiter may turn out to be right.
Well, you know it's not unprecedented for the cops to be right occasionally.
Yeah, I know that, but I saw this guy, Dad,
you know, face-to-face. I looked him right in the eyes,
and I don't think he was guilty the first time.
But every time I wrangle a new suspect, they either turn out to be dead
or a philanderer with great hair
who scores unbelievable young actresses,
uninhibited, and curious, and comfortable
with their own instruments.
And all the roads lead right back to Z again.
All right, then stop trying to solve this case.
If everything you thought was wrong, then accept that. Start over again.
Go back and solve the first case.
I don't want to accept it, okay?
I just want to be right.
Look, go get us a beer,
and let's do this the old-fashioned way.
Man. Yeah.
(SKYPE TONE)
Hi, Shawn.
Yang, what are you...
Doesn't fresh air become me?
Look, I'm at a loss here. You got to give me something.
Did you check the room?
Yes, I checked the room. I got the letters. All of them.
One a week, every week, but Yang, they were never sent.
Well, you know, the mail is unreliable.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Dad, I'm just trying to get some information here, okay? Relax.
Hi, Papa Spencer.
Do the police know this is your informant?
One thing at a time.
You cannot conspire with this woman, Shawn.
I will not allow it.
Well, she's all I have right now, okay?
Oh, that's funny 'cause I thought you had me.
But... (SKYPE BEEPS OFF)
Why would you do that?
I can't call her back.
That's so incredibly rude.
She did kill her father for me. Don't you forget that.
You have some sick relationships, kid.
Well, none of 'em are sicker than this one right here.
Here's the thing about the disenfranchised.
They're creatures of habit.
They don't want to find new places.
They're doomed to do the same thing over and over again.
Here.
HENRY: You're welcome.
Excuse me, big man.
Do you recognize this guy?
Nope.
You sure? He's a regular.
Or was a regular.
When? Seven years ago.
Dude, staff turns over here every six months.
Fair enough.
Get you something?
No, I'm...
I'm good.
All right.
(PLAYING SOMBER MUSIC)
You recognize that guy?
Sorry about your nose.
Yeah, you and me both.
So... What? You're a cop?
No, no, I'm a... I'm a psychic.
I'm also writing a book called Crimefighting for the Totally Unqualified.
I'm on page three. I should be done by Friday.
You're very talented.
It's the first thing I ever wrote.
You used to play that for Elisa?
I've seen your letters, man.
Did Elisa show them to you?
No, she never got 'em.
(CONTINUES PLAYING PIANO)
Z, are you feeling okay?
'Cause, to be honest, I think I'm the only one around here who doubts
that you're out there killing everybody.
I'm clear.
Clearer than ever.
See, in the hospital, you... You figure things out,
and I know now why my head hurt.
And I know the capabilities of humanity, and that's given me clarity.
Great. Please, do tell.
No, I'm done with that.
See, I try to tell people,
but they stop listening once you're labeled.
I can still help you, man.
I'm gonna find Elisa's killer.
Oh, I know who killed her.
You do?
Well, in the interest of time and soaring gas prices, why don't you just...
Why don't you just go ahead and tell me?
I can't do that. Why not?
'Cause then, I wouldn't be able to kill them myself.
Come on, man, you know I can't let you do that.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
(CLATTERING) Hey!
No. So see, it goes like this.
(SINGING) Jamaican inspector man
We have to party like it's 1888
Ripper, leave them prostitutes alone
And this goes where in the show?
It can go anywhere.
I guess it could open it.
You realize this is a dark and serious telling of a serial killer's story?
Exactly. Which is why the audience will be so relieved
when he comes on to lighten the mood.
Okay, let's do Midnight again and call it a day.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello.
What? Z crushed you?
With a piano?
Like in the Road Runner?
Yes, I'm coming, I'm just saying, how fast can a piano move?
Gentlemen, how is allowing this gonna get me my patient returned?
I'm trying to figure that out, doc.
Does Z have anything else, like a locker?
I don't know, something he... Something he came in with?
(SIGHS) We could go to his room.
We are in his room.
Uh, no, this is room 71 .
This is Yang's room. Yang?
No, that's... That can't be possible.
I found all Z's letters
stuffed into that mattress right over there.
Zachary wrote letters?
Oh, I knew we shouldn't have given Yang mail duty.
Oh, my gosh.
She was in love with him.
He has the soul of a monkey
and the cuticles of an aesthetician,
which is why I love him so.
She was his confidant.
She fell for him.
She helped him escape,
but then he went straight to the actress.
So she had to take her out the picture.
(SKYPE TONE) Gus, this is not good.
Nope.
Speak of the devil.
Doc, I'm gonna have to take this.
(SKYPE BEEPS)
You hung up on me.
My dad hung up on you.
It doesn't matter because I know who did it.
Who? You, Yang.
Shawn, if you're going to accuse me,
at least have the courtesy to sing it.
Will you tell the truth if we do?
I swear.
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
(SINGING) You can bend it and send it in the mail
(MUFFLED SINGING)
Mail
(DOOR CLOSES)
You are gonna get Gus committed. Me? Why me?
Honestly, I'm starting to doubt your gifts.
I lost you, Shawn, and if I don't have anybody left,
I'm leaving town.
And don't try to convince me to stay
because I'm really offended.
(SKYPE BEEPS OFF)
Great, she's disappearing.
She could be in Shanghai by now.
Shanghai? Please.
She could be all the way to China by now.
You had your little day of fun, now let's get to work.
I know where she is.
She's been here the whole time.
I half expected her to be sleeping here.
In the room where the critic was murdered? Come on.
This room is creepy as hell, Shawn.
It's not that far-fetched.
(EXHALES)
(CRASHING)
Shawn, we're not alone.
We should split up. What?
Yang!
Yang, I know what happened.
She's already gone.
How do you know?
Because this place is creepy,
and we need to get out of here.
Yang!
Man.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I knew you'd come.
No.
No, no, no, no. This is not a game.
(LAUGHS) You are so wrong, Shawn.
Sing me this one.
No more songs, no more games.
I'm done. I trusted you.
I... I believed in you.
Shawn, you disappoint me.
Yeah, Z was my friend. He told me everything.
If I have to spell it out for you, I will.
He figured it out in group.
You're losing it, Shawn!
You don't even know you were followed here.
What are you talking about?
Holy... Oh, God.
Ah!
(STRUGGLING)
Shawn!
(GROWLS)
Ahh!
(STRUGGLING)
Gus.
(GROANING)
(STRUGGLING)
(GROANING)
Ah!
Ugh!
(THUDS)
(GRUNTS)
Oh.
Yang... Yang!
(COUGHING)
Yang, Yang, I'm sorry.
Is everything all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's fine. She's fine.
Here's something stupid.
I think I'm dying.
No, you're not. No, you're not.
You're fine. You're fine.
Uh, Shawn, I beg to differ.
Shh. Don't say that. Shut up.
And I never got my song.
Gus, sing her a song. What? Why me?
Gus, I just got hanged. Or hung?
Uh...
(SINGING) Jamaican, Jamaican inspector man
Not Jamaican Inspector Man.
Yang-y Yang be bop a dang dang
(LAUGHS) What are you doing?
Nothing rhymes with Yang.
Bang. Clang. Meringue.
Meringue? Now I want steaks.
Steak? You mean pie. You're thinking pie.
No, I mean steak.
I have pie after I have steak.
Guys, I'm drifting.
No, don't drift. Stay with us.
Wang, wang.
Wang?
Wang. Yeah, I like wang.
What? Let me rephrase that.
(GASPS) Look, I see a light.
Do you see fire and brimstone?
Yang, do not go towards the light. Stay with me.
Stay right here with me and tell us who the killer is.
I can't do that. That would spoil the ending.
Z's gonna finish it tonight at the show.
Yang.
It's gonna be spectacular.
(GASPS) Oh, I see him.
(LAUGHS) He is so beautiful.
I see him. You see who? You see Z or...
Beelzebub? My angel.
Angel? Yang.
Mmm-hmm. Yang?
SHAWN: (WHISPERING) Yang.
(SINGING) I'm here
Beside you
I'll guide you
Just extend to me
Your hand
Please take me
To that promised land
Promised land is not the term
For the place you'll likely go
Is there something you think
I ought to know?
Heaven's gate's
Contingent on behavior
Maybe you could call in
A small favor?
Don't hold your breath
They are sticklers here in death
But you'll try?
Sure
I know a guy
Who knows another
Guy
Dude, Z is coming.
Shouldn't we warn someone?
Who are we gonna warn? The person he's trying to kill is the murderer.
(WHISTLING)
Dude... it was Lamberth.
The Highlander? Exactly.
Sweet. This is perfect.
It is, isn't it?
That means technically he's not available to play the inspector.
Hey, you need help. I know.
Dude, let's wait for the cops.
Since when do we do that? If we wait, it'll be too late.
Hello, Highlander.
Oh, fellows, I don't have time, I'm on in a few.
It's funny. You had plenty of time to try and kill me.
What?
You played Jack the Ripper in the original production, didn't you?
And in this current incarnation,
you've been relegated to the much smaller role of the inspector.
Which could have easily been played
by a local black actor, regardless
of the racial makeup of 19th-century London.
You took out your revenge on Elisa and the producer
and anybody else who had any kind of stake in this current production.
Yep.
And...
And that's it.
No, there's more. Tell him the more.
There's no more. That's it.
What?
That is the flimsiest theory you've ever come up with, Shawn.
By no means the flimsiest theory that...
Why are you working against me on this?
That's not a motive for someone to kill someone.
He killed the critic to save the show.
Maybe he thought he deserved to be rewarded for that.
It doesn't make sense.
It doesn't make sense?
I saw you practicing your spin move.
But everybody in the play does that move.
It's how you get off a rope. We're taught that on the first day.
Look, I don't know why you did what you did,
and I don't care, but I can prove that you did it,
because Yang slashed our attacker
across the chest right before he turned
and stabbed her to death.
Now take off your shirt. And do it slowly.
Yeah, but not...
Not because we're titillated.
Because we don't want any funny business.
Right.
Look, this is getting really weird.
SHAWN: Oh, is it? Yeah.
I lost a lot of oxygen because of you
and the only clinically insane friend that I've ever had.
Now, take off that shirt or I'll do it for you.
(STRUGGLING)
Get... Oh!
Lamberth?
Man.
Gus, take off his shirt. What?
I'm not taking off an unconscious guy's shirt, Shawn.
He's a killer. I don't care.
Oh, for pete's sake.
Gah.
Clearly, this is embarrassing for both of us.
For both of us?
WOMAN ON PA: Chris, you're on in two minutes.
What are we gonna do, Shawn?
(EXAGGERATED ENGLISH ACCENT) Hey!
That be enough of that there, Ripper!
That's right.
Back to Wolverhampton with you, Ripper!
It's the first thing I ever wrote.
Yes, and you idiots are doing his play.
No, we're doing a Jack the Ripper story.
Ben, the director, wrote this new version.
It's a completely different show.
MAN: I've heard tell they've seen him.
WOMAN: Seen who? The Ripper.
MAN: Leather apron, lurking about in the shadows.
(CELL PHONE RINGS) Shawn, I'm almost done. Where are you?
First of all, the correct question is when am I?
And the answer is 1888, London.
I believe the East End.
You are at the show?
Yes, and I know what was in that envelope.
A script. Z's original script.
He mailed it to himself and kept it at the theater.
It's like a poor man's copyright.
So they re-launched the show based on his original script
that they screwed up in the first place.
Well, I have everything they bagged
from the house right here.
Find me a script. Ugh.
There are 25 scripts.
Look for the oldest one,
and you better hurry because I forgot to mention
Z's coming here tonight to exact his revenge.
What? Uh, ah, let's see.
I got a 22nd draft.
Mmm, earlier. Earlier, okay, uh...
Uh, a 16th draft, 2002.
Earlier, Jules. Uh, oh, wait.
Here's something dated 1999.
This one was found under a bookcase.
Oh, my, that's it.
And I know what happened.
Z hasn't killed anybody...
Yet.
(COUGHS) Gee...
Jules, keep up 'cause the key keeps changing.
(SINGING) Years of drafts
Nonstop revisions
Laid to waste
Z's composition
Unaware they had destroyed it
Till a man came to exploit it
Shawn, why are you singing?
Over-leveraged In a panic
Ben and Thornton killed the critic
You can't be here
You can't do this
When a crazed man pounds the door
Open up and drop him to the floor
I think I proved how difficult
It really is to knock a door of fits hinge
(COUGHS)
In the hospital, you figure things out,
and I know now why my head hurt.
With too much evidence for hiding
They left him there to take the blame
There was enough there for indicting
Deciding the room had to go up into flame
And with that we know why
He was really suicidal
When Z learned of the play
Then he had his revelation
But the skeptics abound when you're under medication
They stop listening once you're labeled.
So he planned his escape
To retrieve the evidence
That could show he's a victim
And prove his innocence
He gave it to Elisa because she was the only one he could trust.
She found Ben It was the end of her
He had to kill to keep her silent
Then there's me, I was the obstacle
That made his plan get truly violent
You didn't brag to him that you were going to solve it, right?
No.
We're gonna bring this madman to justice.
Now it's ending Z is coming
Blood will spill
So please come running
Uh-oh.
Shawn, what's wrong?
Hey!
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
I'm just up here
jawing into me futuristic talking device.
Ain't I? (LAUGHS)
All right then.
Jules, do you have that script?
I need you to find my line in scene six
and then please get the hell down here.
Dude, what are you doing? Ben is our killer.
I'm gonna go get him, but we still need Z to show,
so keep the production going.
This is your moment.
(LAUGHS)
(IN JAMAICAN ACCENT) Wagwan, London town?
Who wants some inspecting?
Irie.
(LAUGHS)
This is worse than the first version.
GUS: Wagwan here?
Go.
Charlos, where's Ben?
Z grabbed him. What?
That's all I know. I'm trying to call a show.
(GUS LAUGHS)
London town.
(SINGING) Midnight falls under the empty moon
This town is soon
To meet its reckoning
Uh... Uh...
We're gonna party like it's 1888
Psst.
Psst! (GUS TAP DANCING)
What in the hell is happening?
Are you even surprised anymore?
You can't be here. SBPD!
Oh, of course. They went that way.
Z, no!
You don't have to do this, man.
You haven't done anything wrong.
Not yet. I'm sorry, Zach.
That critic Scheck was gonna bury us.
There was a scuffle, and he was dead,
and you were just... You were there.
We didn't mean to kill him.
You stole my life and then you stole my play.
Armitage wanted to run Ripper!
I found your first draft.
I didn't realize how brilliant it was then.
We just... We couldn't have your name on it.
Dude, I don't think any of this stuff is helping your case.
What about Elisa?
Did she deserve to die?
It just got so out of control.
Don't kill him, Z!
(SINGING) You took all
Without consideration
When you die
I'll be the aberration
You made me to be
Before you stole
My life
But I'll remain
With my pain
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(ORCHESTRAL FLOURISH)
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Dude, dude, okay, okay, I started off shaky,
but I got my bearings.
There's no way they can't hire me.
Buddy, I wish I could have seen you.
As for the play, it's probably a no-go.
Really?
Yeah. There's a few small issues.
What happened?
NARRATOR: "And with that, the hero made the world great again."
"The end."
So what do you think?
You can be honest.
Is it the greatest idea for a musical
that you've ever heard or what?
Well, it's very creative.
And, well, life rights will be involved,
and since it's my life,
I will think about it.
We're going to Broadway. P.S., I'm attached.
I said I'd think about it.
(LAUGHS) Right, right.
I'm actually gonna be tied up for a little bit.
Very busy.
Sure, yeah. (LAUGHS)
I did mention that I was attached to it.
You totally did. I heard you.
But you have to lose all that stuff you made up.
I mean, the hanging scene?
That's totally impossible.
(LAUGHS)
And no one would use real kerosene lamps in a theater.
Man, he doesn't know. He's crazy.
He wasn't even there. He was there, Shawn.
Shh. It'll be fine.
Right. The hanging scene stays.
No kidding. I lived it.
What is that?
It's Yang.
You brought her ashes?
Gus, of course, it's her last request.
The question is,
where do you think that chief doctor parks his car?
(UPBEAT CALYPSO MUSIC)
(SINGING) Warning bells ring out
Cross the ocean down to Montego Bay
Don't worry, all is well
You English Jezebels
Help is on the way
Jamaican, Jamaican inspector man
Straight from Kingston to London town
We are gon' party like it's 1888
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Jamaican
Jamaican inspector man
Getting irie in Scotland Yard
You need a Rastaman to help the magistrate
Send me I say
Me not like this nonsense
Me hearing people slashed from necklace to ear
And Ripper, leave them prostitutes alone
Jamaican inspector man
Ripper, stop ripping, not gon' tell you again
(LAUGHS)